JonJon Johnson and his gnaw-wegian friend, Gnawman, decided to ignaw their promise to JonJon’s father, Doctor Jonathan Johnson, not to enter the laboratory in the gnawth wing of the egnawmous old house where the Johnsons lived. The laboratory was where Doctor Johnson, disregarding the gnawms of his profession, performed ugnawthodox experiments to find ways to help JonJon’s sister Gnawma, repair the kidney damage she had suffered as a result of her agnawrexia. The two gnawty little boys waited until the sound of Doctor Johnson’s sgnawring told them the coast was clear. At midnight they entered the laboratory, full of excitement and exuberance. Unfortunately, in the dark they knocked over a rack of bottles containing dangerous chemicals. The bottles broke and the chemicals combined to create a cloud of toxic gas. The boys snuffled and sgnawted as the gas entered their nostrils. Soon they both felt very gnawseous. Awoken by the noise, Doctor Johnson arrived, switched on the lights, and opened the windows to dispel the poison gas. “I’m very disappointed,” Doctor Johnson said to Jonjon, “Clearly neither you gnaw your gnawdic friend feel that the gnawmal rules apply to you.” “But Dad, we thought we heard a burglar, but it must have been a rat, gnawing the table so it fell over,” said JonJon. “How ugnawriginal,” replied Doctor Johnson, “That’s the feeblest excuse I’ve ever heard. You’ve broken your promise. You’ve behaved dishognawrably. You are both ignawrant little boys. This is not a mignaw mistake. You have jeopardised your sister’s recovery. All my research has been for gnawt, thanks to you.” At that moment, the phone rang. It was the hospital calling to advise that a suitable kidney dognaw had been found. Doctor Johnson bundled Gnawma into the car and drove to the hospital. There was little traffic but it seemed to take an ignawdinately long time to get there. After the transplant, Gnawma made a full recovery. At the end of the holidays, Gnawman returned to Gnaw-way. A year or so later he read in the newspaper that Doctor Johnson had invented a new method of dialysis. The newspaper cost Gnawman 10 Krognaw, (gnawrse currency). © Copyright S R Schwarz 2007. All rights reserved.
kidding, kids and kidneys
