His name was Godfrey. His friends called him "Goat". He had busted out of prison a few days earlier. Since his escape Goat had been on the lamb, coppers dogging his every move. It was driving him batty. He yearned for a gnawmal life, but he'd never toad the line for long enough to settle down.

It was raining heavily as he made his way to where his girlfriend Gwyneth and her sister Anna lived. Godfrey knocked on the door. No response. Standing in the rain, he knocked again. Still nothing. He smelled a rat. It was all very fishy but what choice did he have? Finally, after shouting himself horse, the door opened.

"Come on in out of the reindeer," said Gwyneth.

"Hey Gwin, what kept ya," said Godfrey, "I was beginning to suspect fowl play."

He followed her into the house. Anna was on the phone.

"Quit yakking," said Godfrey to Anna, "I gotta make a call. Important business."

Turning to Gwyneth he said, "Hey Gwin, throw some steaks on the gorilla, I'm ravenous." Then he went to the bathroom to freshen up.

Anna got off the phone. "He's got some nerve," she said to Gwyneth, "swanning around like he owns the place. 'Important business' ...what a load of bull! Eel never treat ya right, jus' like I always said. I don't know how you can bear it. In fact, there's something I've been meaning to tell ya…"

Godfrey came out of the bathroom, then called his sidekick, JoJo.

"Hey JoJo," he said, "Let's talk turkey. I'm on the lamb and I need some bucks. How much is in the kitty?"

"Not much, Goat, I've had some expenses…"

"Don't you monkey around with me! You can duck and weave all you like but I know you still got 10 grand from that last job. That otter do it. Meet me in the usual place tomorrow at nine."

Putting down the phone Godfrey was startled to see Gwyneth pointing a gun at him.

"You filthy cheetah!" she screamed, "Anna's tole me all about it…"

"She's lion, Gwin," said Godfrey, "she's conning you, I swear."

Gwyneth suspected Anna was lion. Had annaconda? Maybe, maybe not. She wasn't sure. Either she'd been condor she hadn't. Godfrey sensed she was beginning to have her doubts. Then he had an idea.

"Pick up that penGuin, and write this down," he said, wanting to tell her the PIN of his secret Swiss bank account.

But by then the police had arrived. They entered the house and read Goat his rights. He listened with a sheepish grin on his face. Then they cuffed him and led him away.

© Copyright S R Schwarz 2007. All rights reserved.

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